


Your Song

by Itsoktobedifferent



Category: Rocketman (2019)
Genre: Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 07:39:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsoktobedifferent/pseuds/Itsoktobedifferent
Summary: Bernie will not let Elton fall too deep.





	Your Song

Bernie and Elton were a duo. Always together never apart. Bernie always kept Elton's head above water as his pain anchored him below.

The mental pain began with his parents. Always fighting. His dad abandoning him as a child. His mother's always disapproval with his choices, and the person he is and wants to become.

Yet when Bernie came into his life, this type of pain went missing. It even felt like it went away for good.

But it did not.

Throughout their career, Elton knew he was not a straight man. He tried to be. He had a girlfriend who was gonna be his wife soon. He should be happy, right? No matter how the hole grew in his heart when he was with his girlfriend, it fills when Bernie is around him. He never could tell his best friend how he felt. 

The realisation of it all was different to Elton. The pain found his way back, and the rejection of it all was more than living himself. He remembered lying alone at his house to the windows being up, and his head in a gas oven blinking until he saw nothing.

He felt two strong hands on his shoulders pulling away on his only way out as he screamed for death.

The hands turned to arms, as he felt his chest being pulled back to the outdoors where fresh air consumed his lungs. He did not even register the windows being opened, and the gas oven being turned off. 

"Reggie! What were you thinking," the voice belonged to Bernie who saved him from himself.

"D-Death," Elton mumbled through his tears as his body began to shake.

"N-No Reg, please tell me what's wrong. Please," his best friend pleaded holding him into his chest out of fear the unborn rockstar will hurt himself.

"N-no one will love me. I love men, Bernie. No one will love me," the elder cried into his best friend's chest.

"Reg, you know I love you right," Bernie hummed, "I may love you like a friend, but without you. I would go insane. I would lose my person."

"You would move on. Everyone will."

"No Reg, I would never ever move on. No matter how much time passes. If you died. If I couldn't stop it. I would never forgive myself. I need you to live. If you don't do it for me. You have to do it for yourself."

He'll do anything for Bernie.

........

Breaking up things with his wife was what was needed, but it was scary as hell as Bernie and Elton scurried back from their old house with the raging woman throwing broken bottles at them.

They ended up at his mothers as they continue to write music together. One morning Bernie handed over lyrics over the table as Elton was eating breakfast. After his best friend went upstairs to shave. The elder strolled over to begin to play the piano, and read the lyrics as he admired them.

'It's a little bit funny this feeling inside  
I'm not one of those who can easily hide, I  
Don't have much money but boy if I did  
I'd buy a big house where we both could live'

The words flowed out that not only Bernie came to watch him, but his grandmother and mother listened from the kitchen. His best friend knew this was gonna be a hit, and boy it was.

..........

Crocodile Rock was what got his career rolling after the signing to a record label.

Bernie and Elton friendship began to fade. The bond they had weakened. Elton thought heartbreak was when his father left him. He thought it was when he stuck his head in the oven when he could not be with Bernie. Yet seeing his best friend with another female was a different story. As the rockstar glanced at their kiss, his whole heart shattered. If he had a gun right now. Right at the party he was at. He would shoot himself right between his eyes, but he was stuck with alcohol and drank the pain away.

Elton met John Reid in a drunking mess; however, they made love and Elton felt needed.

The bond they grew was more then he could of asked for. He even wanted John to be his manager, and then he was.

That was when things got bad. Well not bad. Worse.

John cheated on Elton, and he never felt so betrayed. On the top of that John Reid worked Elton like a dog, that the rockstar was not happy. He had to turn to drugs to smile as he snorts a line of cocaine before each concert.

Elton has not seen much of Bernie, and he misses him.

....

"You are getting fat," John told Elton when his costume was too tight. The thing was the costume was supposed to be skin tight. He never felt so useless.

Elton began throwing up his meal after that to become perfection. He never knew the weight would fly off him. Maybe John will love him. Maybe the fans will care more.

He thought it worked because Elton and John had sex, and they never had it in awhile. He woke to an empty bed, and he felt so alone again.

He saw Bernie that day which brought joy in his dark life. He has not had drugs that day wanted to stay clean for his best friend. They have not seen each other in over a month.

Elton met Berine at a coffee shop as his best friend smiled, "Hey Reggie."

"Hey Bern, It's been awhile," the rockstar grinned as his best friend pulled him in for a hug.

The smile on Bernie's face faded as his he felt Elton's ribs, "Reg, are you eating enough?" 

The elder pulled away and grinned, "Of course I am why do you ask?"

"Well um well, " Bernie stuttered, "I'm feeling your ribs. You defiantly lost a lot of weight."

"Well the tour life is rough on me. I don't get times to eat probably, but I promise when I do I eat as much as I can."

"Well try your best to eat a bit more. I can't have you a walking skeleton," Bernie laughed awkwardly as he sat down at the booth after leading his best friend down to a seat in front of his.

"I'll try," Elton shrugged.

"Okay," Bernie smiled as the waiter took their order. 

Bernie order for Elton as well. He ordered sugared coffee with a steady breakfast to get some meat on his best friend's bones. The rockstar would eat anything for Bernie. Even John's pride.

The younger was just happy to see Elton eat something. He probably should stick around more.

He should not have left.

....

"You're fucking useless," John hissed hitting Elton's face when the man passed out during an interview. The manager refused taking the rockstar to the doctor blaming it on the lack of sleep.

Bernie knew it was a lie.

But he did not say a damn thing.

The thing is he should of. He had no power to. He just knew he hated John's guts. He hated him more than the devil himself. 

.....

John threw a party at Elton's big house. The house that Bernie and him should of got together, but he was stuck with John. At least John will not leave him.

The manager was talking to the guests leaving Elton to dwell in his room. Bernie tried to get the rockstar to come downstairs, but he knew he fucked up when he brought the girls he was with up with him.

He knew he fucked up.

When Bernie left the room, Elton gave in to the beast that took control of his soul. He scrambled to swallow any pills he came across of, and downed them with vodka. He felt the vision between reality and unconsciousness swarm as he stumbled downstairs.

This was the end. He wanted it to end. This life was not for him.

People glance as he stood on the diving board of his pool, "AND FOR MY NEXT TRICK; I'm gonna fucking kill myself," Elton yelled as he glance at John who scowled before the rockstar fell into the pool. He knew he made the right decision.

He felt like a cloud with no worries. Swarming around in space. In peace of what was about to become. Until he felt hands grab him pulling himself above water. An ambulance already there, he glance up at a soaked Bernie and a dry John. Elton was place on stretcher as he saw his manager's lip say, "You selfish prick," as his best friend pushed his boyfriend aside, and glance at him.

"You are gonna be okay Reggie," Bernie muttered, "You just got to keep living."

The ambulance worker put a oxygen mask on his face as he was put in the vehicle to get his stomach pumped.

He fell asleep after that.

....

"That idiot!" John muttered as Bernie was wrenching his hair out with his hands after diving in after Elton. He hated John.

John kept muttering insults to his best friend, and that's when Bernie had enough. He stomped over to the manager, and decked the male's cheek bone as John fell flat on the floor by the pool.

"YOU FUCKING CUNT," Bernie yelled at the manger on the floor, "Reggie could of died. He still can, and you are only worried about your money," the best friend backed up to catch a cab before muttering, "you should be the one who fell in the pool." 

He went to the gate to leave. He had to get to Elton.

......

Bernie paced in the waiting room. He wanted his best friend to be okay.

Well things after that never got better. The hospital pumped his stomach, and gave him a feeding tube. John still got him to perform a week later.

Elton had a heart attack, and fell down the stairs.

John blamed it on a chest infection, and took him to perform five days later.

Drugs consumed his life until they did not.

Until Bernie took him to rehab, and got rid of John through court.

And then things were great again.

Because Bernie had money to buy Elton a big house.

And they could live.


End file.
